


sexy thing/ one shot

by magicalartist



Series: One-Shots- Swanqueen [4]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Anti CS, F/F, Pre-Relationship, hook is an ass, inspired by a swanqueen crack video
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 06:48:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12929784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicalartist/pseuds/magicalartist





	sexy thing/ one shot

Sexy Thing- inspired by a crack video for swanqueen... 

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“Here Love, let me help with that.” Hook swoops in, giving Emma what is meant to be a dashing smile and swipes the box out of her arms.

“uh, thanks?”

“No problem love, anything for you.”

Emma’s brow furrows as he moves away, moving towards the door,  “ where would you like this love?”

Emma tries not to roll her eyes at the overuse of the term of endearment from him. He had been trying to “woo” her for weeks now, stopping by, offering to help with errands, bringing flowers, most of which she was allergic to, showing her non stop attention and affection. His help around the sheriffs office was helpful on occasion, but lately it was beginning to grate on her nerves. If she didn’t come up with something for him to do, he insisted on sitting too close, paying her to much up close and personal attention. It wasn’t that she disliked hook, exactly, it was just that, she didn’t exact like him either.

 All this personal attention felt like a means to an end, even if he claimed to have changed, and claimed she was personally responsible for that change, which felt like entirely too much pressure.

 So today, to keep his advances at bay, she had decided to clean the sheriffs station. Although, she was nearly done already. All that remained was to go through the box of video tapes he had so chivalrously taken from her. she sighed, this was going to be a long afternoon after all.

 She nodded to her office, “ I need to go through the videos, see if there is anything on them, and if not, discard of them. Regina approved an equipment upgrade, we should have DVD’s next week. Thank god! Finally bringing us out of the dark ages…

 Hook nods, “ aye, I can see why you need to get rid of them, but why watch through the old ones?” 

Emma gives him a look, “ in case any of these tapes have evidence from  cases that are either open or cold. We would either need to keep them, or convert them to the upgraded format.”

 He nods slowly, “ I suppose I can see your point there, I can stay and help” 

Emma lets out a slow breath, trying to contain her sigh, “sure… thanks”

He smiles brightly, “ anything to help you love” he swings an arm around her that she can’t duck out of. He smells of leather and sea. She doesn’t know why it bothers her, this affection form him. It should make her feel good. But it never has. Its always left her feeling a little queasy. Like he wants something from her that she isn’t equipped to give him and she wonders if he will ever realize that. She is afraid of losing him at the same time, the one living man who has shown her the time of day. He cares, he likes her, he pursues her. he seems to genuinely care. She cant figure out why that isn’t enough for her. she wonders if there is something wrong with her, if she is broken somehow, if being abandoned all those years ago, and shifted from foster home to foster home has made her incapable of accepting a good thing when she has it.

 But a small voice in her head whispers that isn’t it, that its something else something deeper, but she ignores it. she can’t go there. She won’t go there. She is a savior and a princess and there are expectations of her in this town and so she smiles at Killian like everything is okay and lets him brush a kiss across her lips and she even leans into it a bit and she pretends, as she always does, that for a moment, she is kissing someone else, the person she really wants. The one person who truly understands her, who really gets her the one person who can communicate more in a single glance than anyone else can in a whole damn sentence. She pretends until Killian releases her, his eyes searching hers and she tries her damndest to give him a smile that will satisfy him.

It must work because soon they are watching VCR tapes, his arm wrapped around her shoulder protectively, and she pretends, with all her heart that it is someone else sitting beside her, watching the daily happenings of Storybrooke. She can almost hear the snarky commentary from her imaginary companion.

He attest VCR has ended and Killian glances at her, “which pile?”

“hmm?” 

He gives her a puzzled look, Emma, are you alright?”

She shakes off the sense of melancholy and gives him a false smile, yeah, I’m fine.. just add that to the trash pile.” She walks to the box and removes the last VCR. This one is fairly new looking. It has no writing on it whatsoever, which in and o itself is odd. What is more odd, is Emma can sense the faintest trace of magic on the tape. Her senses tingle as she picks up the tape and examine it. the magic feels familiar, but not enough of it remains for her to place its source. Her brow furrows and she finally decides to slide it into the VCR player. Killian pulls her back into his grasp, wrapping his arm around her and presses a kiss to her temple, not noticing at first that Emma is completely frozen, her eyes glued to the screen. Her mouth had gone dry, and fell open as she stared at the screen, unable to believe what was seeing.

Killian’s first clue that something wasn’t quite right was the music, _“I believe in miracles, where you from, you sexy thing?”_

Long slender legs were visible on screen, panning up to show none other than Regina in a scantily clad one piece top maid outfit, complete with a bonnet and duster. She showed off her shapely legs and rear before blowing a kiss to the camera and twirling, revealing the front of her outfit. She practically strutted around the room, Snow’s apartment Emma realized in horror, talking to the camera, blowing kisses and being a tease. She can hear women giggling in the background. but she can’t take her eyes off of Regina for even a second, she can’t take her eyes off of Regina’s chocolate orb’s, lit up with laughter, joy, and something else. She looked daring. She looked every bit the sexy- thing the song called her, and her voice was addicting, deep, sultry, low and dripping with sex. She couldn’t understand a word of what Regina was saying, although it sometimes sounded like she was mouthing the lyrics of the song, in between blown kisses. Her body swayed and Emma knew she had to be inebriated, the Regina she knew wouldn’t come close to acting like this sober.

Emma’s face grew hot, her cheeks flushing. She felt Killian’s arm drop from her shoulder as if he had been burned when the only word Regina could be heard actually saying fell from her lips, “Em-ma” just before the video cut out.

Her mouth gaped open like a fish, unable to move, unable to breath, unable to get the image of Regina out of her head. Oh my god, did she seriously make me a tape to tease me? the video couldn’t have been more than 15 seconds long, but it felt like an eternity. Emma was reduced to a mess of raw heat. How did she know, how could she know how I felt? Does she know? was that truly meant for me? why would she film that at Snow’s? nothing made sense. It felt like an eternity had passed. She couldn’t stamp down her own attraction. Regina’s video had ignited a fire in her. 

Killian had moved away from her completely, retrieving the tape from the VCR, holding it up in her face angrily, “Swan, what the bloody hell was that?!”

She shook her head, running her hands over her face, trying to meet his gaze, startled at the rage she saw there, he looked dangerous, “ I…. I don’t know…”

“ are you running around with… with her… behind my back?” the disgust was so evident in his voice, so blatantly clear, Emma felt her own anger rise, “ No, Killian, I haven’t been running around with anyone behind your back, and for your information, we are not even in an official relationship, so I don’t owe you any loyalty to begin with”

“but I sold my ship for you!” he bellowed

“ and love isn’t about owing someone, Killian! But I don’t expect  you would know anything about that!”

Killian glared at her, “ no one, no one is taking you away from me, especially not her” he stormed for the door

“where are you going?!” Emma felt her panic rising,

“ to give that bitch a piece of my mind”

Emma’s eyes widened, and she ran for her phone. She called Regina’s phone three times, sighing in frustration when she refused to pick up, “ now is no t the time to stay mad at me regina! Answer the phone!”

She called henry next, who answered, “ yeah mom, what’s up?”

“put your mom on” Henry picked up on the panic in Emma’s voice immediately.

“mom still doesn’t wanna talk to you, what’s wrong…”

“ its an emergency dammit, put her on the phone henry.”

Henry shuffled the phone to Regina, “ cursing at our son Miss swan…”

“no time, Hook is on his way over and he is extremely pissed off Regina… he saw the video… “

“what on earth are you talking about swan?”

“ the VCR tape you made at Snow's, you, prancing around to a song in a maid outfit?” Emma blushed all over again thinking about it, stammering over the phone. There were some things that once seen, couldn’t be unseen, and Emma wasn’t sure she wanted too.

Regina went silent. _Oh shit. That video._

“Regina?” Regina was white. Her knees trembled. How absolutely humiliating. She had made that video on a girls night with Snow, Katherine, and Ruby, Emma was never supposed to see that, let alone her one handed wonder of a boyfriend. She had never intended for Emma to find out her feelings for her. how the fuck did that video end up at the sheriffs station? Then it hit her.

 _Snow._ “ I am going to murder her ten ways to Sunday” Regina growled, sounding every bit like the evil queen.

 Emma chuckled nervously, “is that really necessary?”

“yes it is absolutely necessary Swan, you were never supposed to see that, ever!”

“ then why record it at all? Why put that on, why… record it, why tease me… why even chance it? if you never wanted me to see it?” Emma asks, her voice soft, and Regina can detect it, through the phone, just the barest hint of hope.

It’s enough to give Regina pause. enough to make her rethink killing snow, and the one handed wonder.

She pauses, chooses her words carefully, “ so you liked it, _Em-ma_?” her voice is low, sultry, every bit as sexy and inviting as it had been in the video.

She hears the groan through the phone and can’t help the grin, “ God Yes Regina, you fucking tease!”

Regina is prepared to tease her some more when an angry pirate starts pounding on her door, making threats. She sighs, “ I have to go Emma, I have a one handed wonder to deal with”

“wait!”

Regina sighed, “Not now swan, your boyfriend is about to break down my door”

“ He’s not my boyfriend”

Regina huffed in irritation, “that’s not what he’s currently screaming at me”

Emma cringed when she heard the obscenities being hurled at Regina, “ I’m on my way” she yanked her jacket out the chair and ran for the cruiser.

“ forget it, I am more than capable of handling the one handed wonder”

“Regina, I’m serious, we need to talk” Emma swerved out of the parking lot, pushing the cruiser to its limit as she sped through the streets, narrowly avoiding Archie walking pongo.

“Fine. Dinner, at six. If you are so much as one minute late, I swear”

Emma ignored the threat, her tone all business,“ stay on the line… please?”

 Regina paused, her hand on the door, puzzled by the concern in Emma’s voice, “don’t open that door til I get there”

 “ Emma, it’s not necessary” she stated, though she found herself obliging the blonde

 Emma was insistent,“ Yes it is, he’s furious, and I won’t let him hurt you. he’s my problem, I’ll handle him. You sit tight, I’m almost there”

 Regina tried to argue once more but Emma stated firmly, “Madom Mayor, don’t you dare open that door before I get there. Is that clear?”

 Regina rolled her eyes but headed away from the door urging a concerned henry away from the windows.

 Regina led their son to the den and closed the door firmly, peeking out the window when she heard screeching tires outside her home. She smirked and bit back a laugh when Emma barreled up the steps and yanked Hook by the collar off the steps, pulling him nearly off his feet as she yanked him around, shoving him towards the cruiser. “ get lost, now!”

 “ bloody hell swan, I’m just”

 “ I don’t give a flying rats ass what you were just about to do. You are trespassing and disturbing the peace, and if you keep it up, I’ll make you sit in a cell overnight. Now leave!”

 His expression turned dark and angry but Emma seemed to grow taller under his scrutiny, and even through her windows she could hear the dangerous undertones in the blonde’s voice,” now is not the time to push your luck Hook. I’ve had enough. Enough of your pining, enough of your harassment, enough of you refusing to take no for an answer. And I will not have you harassing the mayor of this town because you think you have some right to dictate who I see. I am not your property, nor am I a member of your crew. I am the sheriff of this town and if you so much as lay a hand on myself or a member of my family, I will throw you out of this town so fast your head will spin. Now go home and sober the hell up.”

He hesitated, his expression full of shock. “NOW!” Emma barked and he turned on his heel and left, hurrying towards the pier.

Regina watched the blonde shake off her anger and turn towards the house, giving Regina a sheepish grin and waving. Regina sighed.

Henry surprised her, giving her a hug before darting up the stairs, “I’m going to grandma’s. you guys need to talk" 

Regina thought about arguing with him when a much gentler knock sounded at the door. Straightening her clothes and primping her hair she headed back for the door and swung it open, ‘ sheriff, what a pleasant surprise”

Emma opened her mouth to respond when Henry barreled back down the stairs with his backpack slung over his shoulders. He gave them both a tight hug, waved and darted out the door, “ I’m spending the night. Don’t kill each other, bye!”

 Emma chuckled, and rubbed her neck,  “so… um…”

Regina sighed, “ come on in.”

 Emma nodded, kicking off her boots and tucking them neatly by the door, hanging her jacket up and smirking when Regina asked, “ how would you like a glass of the best apple cider you’ve ever tasted?” as she sashayed towards the decanter.

Emma blushed, recalling those hips swinging in a maid outfit. She cleared her throat and shook her head, “ got anything stronger?”


End file.
